“Christmas Eve…”

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Shared by Breanne Smedley

Christmas Eve was my favorite time of the holiday season as a kid.

The anticipation of what was to come the next morning would be enough to make my sister and I giddy with excitement.

We had been good all year (ha…),

I wonder what Santa is going to bring?

For a few years, we would sleep in the same room on Christmas Eve.

On the floor, in our sleeping bags next to each other.

Because we were too excited to go to sleep alone.

Christmas morning would never disappoint.

Going downstairs and seeing the plump stockings by the fireplace.

Then rushing into our parent’s bedroom to pour the stockings out on their bed and show them what Santa had brought us.

All before 7am.

I’m sure my parents were exhausted!

Making all the Christmas magic happen.

It was around 8 or 9 that I started to catch on that Santa might not be real.

It was less a traumatic reveal and more like putting a puzzle together.

Some kids on the bus were talking about how there was actually no Santa.

Really? I would think. No…

Then I would try to stay up as long as I possibly could to try to catch my parents in the act of filling stockings and eating cookies.

I never did. Always fell asleep before I could tell for sure.

One year though, I made the mistake of opening the trunk of the car and seeing what could be Christmas presents.

Being the detective that I was, I snooped around.

Christmas morning that year, the same movie that was in the trunk of the car showed up by the fireplace.

“From Santa.”

The final puzzle piece.

“I knew it!”

All those years, it was really mom and dad…

I was a little sad. A little shocked. But mostly excited that I had solved the mystery.

I didn’t tell my parents that I had discovered “the secret.”

I kind of played along. Until my sister and I were old enough for it to be obvious that we knew.

Now that I have a little one, I wondered about introducing Santa.

Why have her believed in something, that in 6-7 years, she would just find out is fake?

I still struggle with this a little bit!

I do know that in general, fantasy is a normal and healthy part of child development.

And I’ll never forget that magical feeling of the Christmas season from my childhood.

The magic, love, and spirit of giving to others.

Of believing in something that I couldn’t see or touch.

And maybe developing that capacity of belief in myself, in those around me, and in the good of the world.

So, while Santa in the flesh may not be real, I’ve found that as our second Christmas with a child of our own approaches, I’ve found the magic of Santa has returned.

And I’m excited to have that back.

Enjoy the magic of your own holiday season, however, you choose to celebrate it!

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#FiercelyOptimistic

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