“I can do it all…”
Shared by Kristina Smedley
“I can do it all…”
I’m not sure if this is a character strength or flaw.
It’s probably both but this year I’ve seen the shadow side.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve held the belief that “I can do it all!”
Somehow I’ve always made the time.
I’ve drawn up the energy.
I’ve found the resources.
School. A’s. Sports. Friends and relationships. A job or multiple jobs. Starting a business.
No Problem!
Finding time to work out, see friends, get together with family.
Somehow it felt like I could always fit it all in.
Or, so I thought.
Getting pregnant earlier blew this whole belief up in my face.
There simply wasn’t enough time in the day to do everything I wanted to do, or at least not to do it well.
Excel at work.
Start a business.
Meditate. Read. Write. Reflect.
Get a coaching certification.
Focus on my own health and pregnancy.
Spend time with friends.
And most importantly deepen my relationship with Sennad and ensure our marriage is in a good place before we welcome a little baby into this world.
Oh yeah, AND get ready for this little guy’s arrival!
Suddenly I was pregnant and everything about my reality changed.
I had to prioritize, and had less than nine months before my life would change drastically AGAIN.
I noticed that as I intentionally stopped doing things I previously valued, I also stopped doing many other things that were still important to me.
Although I had to stop getting up at 4:45am because I wasn’t sleeping enough at night, I also found myself no longer creating time to meditate, or read, or write as much.
I could no longer do the intense workouts that I previously enjoyed, and I found myself not working out at all. Then, I stopped caring about eating healthy!
I was so used to operating at 110%, that as I had to slow down a little I didn’t know how to operate within these new expectations. All I knew was “I can do it all” and when that wasn’t possible, it felt like nothing was possible.
It wasn’t until these last couple months of our pregnancy that I started getting my rhythm back.
Just in time to give birth to this perfect little guy and then plop myself on the couch to breastfeed, rock, and change diapers all day. Again, everything changed and I’ve been struggling to figure out how to fit in the other aspects of my life that I really value.
But this time, I’m more prepared.
I’m more aware that this is just a season of my life, one that I really treasure and will never get this time back with our little family.
Rather than prioritizing and removing things from my life, I have the opportunity to know that Kaden is my top priority and then find what else I want to fit in.
And whatever that ends up being, I feel confident that I’m “doing it all”… at least all that is most important to me right now in this moment.
Today is December 1st and Kaden, Sennad, and I have a pretty good routine figured out together.
Now I have the opportunity to add in some reading and writing.
Hopefully next month I’ll be able to add in working out with Sennad.
Getting pregnant and having a baby this year has been eye-opening in so many ways, especially in seeing how I respond to changes in my own reality and expectations.
I CAN do it all… but “all” now has a new definition.
It’s just what’s most important in my current season of life.
#PassionatelyServing
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