“Everything happens for a reason…”

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 Shared by Breanne Smedley

I really hate that phrase.

I used to love it, at one point in my life.

I now know why, though.

Because it relinquished responsibility from myself.

Gave me comfort in situations that I was frustrated about.

But, it also made me a victim.

A victim to whatever circumstance happened to me.

And what’s the reason, afterall?

When do I get to be privy to that information?

This week, I was working with the 12-14 year old athletes in the Elite Competitor Program.

It’s a sixth month mindset coaching program in which I get to teach, coach, and help players implement small changes to their mental game to improve their confidence and increase performance in all areas of their life.

We were learning about the brain and something called the “Reticular Activating System.”

Basically, the part of our brain that allows us to find and see what we want it to.

The part that, when you’re thinking about buying a new car, you suddenly see that car everywhere!

In reality, that car has been there all along. There weren’t a bunch of people that decided to buy one, then drive everywhere that you normally drive.

It’s just you weren’t focusing on it, until you put your brain to work.

We watched a video that blew their minds (another reason why I love working with the young ones-they are so amazed by learning new things!)

You may have seen it-the one where two groups of people are passing a basketball between them while moving around.

One group is wearing white, the other black.

The task is to see how many times the players in white pass the ball.

So, the video starts and they begin counting.

I ask, how many people counted 16? (The correct answer)

All raised their hands proudly, they had completed the task!

But, how many of you saw the gorilla walk into the middle of the players passing the ball?

“What?! A gorilla?” They all asked, confused.

We looked back at the video, and sure enough about half way through, a gorilla walks out, pounds his chest, and leaves.

Not only that, but the curtain changed colors AND a player wearing black left the group.

They missed all of it, because they were focusing on the passes.

“How could we miss that?! It was so obvious!” One said, after we watched it again.

We connected it to their learning.

What we focus on (our thoughts) leads to how we feel (emotions).

How we feel leads to what we do (behavior).

What we do gets us our results.

So, if I am constantly focusing on bad things, what will I find?

“Bad things!!” They reported back with enthusiasm.

And if I am focusing on good things, what will my brain find for me?

“GOOD THINGS!!” They confirmed.

“So, I can tell my brain what to focus on, and it will find it for me?” One 12 year old asked.

YES, exactly!

They’re young, but I think it’s so essential that they learn this now.

So they don’t go through life thinking they are the victim of their circumstances.

That they can choose what to focus on, and as a result choose their reality.

Yes, things happen in life.

Things we can’t control.

Everything happens…

…but I get to decide the reason.

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#DaringlyResilient

#FiercelyOptimistic

#MindfullyEvolving

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