Mom Guilt => [are you believing these lies too?]
Shared by Kristina Smedley
On Monday, I promised to share more about my GRIT experience and transformation over the last four weeks.
As many of you moms (and dads too!) can likely relate to, working out when you have an infant can be a struggle!
Finding Time.
Finding Childcare.
Finding Energy.
It’s much easier to just Find Excuses.
I expected this when I signed up for the January GRIT challenge; figuring I would have to workout when Kaden (our son) was sleeping or make sure to find time when my husband was home. And, I was a bit worried that I wouldn’t always be able to complete the daily workout (uumm… queue the excuses)!
What I didn’t expect turned out to be a much bigger issue – mom guilt!
For the first eight weeks of Kaden’s life, I didn’t feel too much guilt.
And I was actually feeling pretty awesome about this fact, seeing how much people talk about it.
But, come January and the guilt washed over me!
Some days it almost stopped me in my tracks.
Other days, I see now, it caused fights with my husband.
And every day it made me think twice, even just a little bit, about doing my workout.
One of my biggest transformations over this month has been to work through this guilt and allow time for myself in the GRIT challenge.
Maybe you’ve had similar thoughts…
Guilty Thought #1: “I should be spending this time with my family.”
Flipping this guilty thought on its head, I realized that it wasn’t a matter of “should”.
It was a matter of want and that was something I could work with!
Shoulds and oughts are often formed through our culture and upbringing, and our Inner Critics do an amazing job enforcing them when we’re adults!
During the day, I felt that I should pay full attention to Kaden when he was awake, and his naps are too short to be a reliable length for a workout.
In the evenings, there is such a limited time that we are all home together and awake, it should be family time.
And working out later in the evening cut into the tiny amount of time that Sennad and I have to ourselves.
The amazing thing I discovered about GRIT is that unlike if I were going to the gym or a group workout class, we could actually spend the time together by doing the workout together!
All of the workouts are scalable, so on some days I held Kaden in a carrier and adjusted the movement so he could be included.
On the evening it snowed, we all bundled up and did my 5K workout around the track together. That was a cold 3 mile walk!!
On other days, Sennad and I put our yoga mats in the living room while Kaden kicked his feet and cooed on his play mat next to us.
By letting go of this expectation of “should” and instead realize that I really just wanted us all to be together, we were able to find creative ways to make it happen.
This freed up the guilt and took a huge weight off my chest!
Guilty Thought #2: “I shouldn’t be spending this money on myself.”
Turns out, the transformational return I’m getting on GRIT is substantially greater than my small monetary investment. Investing in my growth and transformation isn’t only good for my own health, it’s good for my family as well.
It is true… I’ve been receiving 80% pay for the last several weeks (which is great in comparison to many) and plan to take a month without pay at the end of my leave. And, everyone knows how crazy expensive mortgages, daycare, and life are in Seattle.
So, yes, I want to be concerned with our finances.
At the same time, the benefits of GRIT are far greater than just physical transformation.
GRIT has made me look in the mirror and battle my many excuses and attempts to do just the minimum to get by (and hopefully not be noticed).
It has given me greater confidence as I watch my postpartum body transform back towards my pre-pregnant shape.
It has helped my family be active together, ensuring we set a good example for Kaden as he grows up.
It has given me a team who all struggle and grow together. Who all relate!
GRIT has given me mental and physical strength.
It has reminded me of the power of commitment.
And has forced me to be accountable and have integrity with myself.
That’s like the cost of a gym membership, a trainer, a therapist, and a personal coach all rolled into one!
The small amount of money invested in GRIT is paying back dividends that will last a lifetime.
Guilty Thought #3: “I’m the one staying home, I should be making sure the house is clean, dishes are done, etc”
This has been a hard one to let go of, because I am home and playing with a baby doesn’t seem like it should count as work. But, at the end of the day, taking care of a baby takes a lot of energy! You moms know this… I’m just starting to see this reality!
I have to find ways to take care of myself and fill myself up, so I have the energy, love, and care to give to my family and friends.
Again, I’m battling the “shoulds” here and have been working on flipping this one on its head as well.
My husband gets time to go to the gym after work and I want to give myself permission to take time to work out, no guilt included.
As a plus though, I’ve done many of the GRIT workouts in the kitchen/dining room.
Last week, I started dinner in the insta-pot.
Started my workout.
And when the insta-pot timer buzzed I quickly started the venting between reps!
My workout and dinner were done at the same time! 
________________________
When I started GRIT this month, I was really looking forward to the physical transformation. I’m excited to be fit and active again, and I’m really proud of the results I’ve accomplished so far (I’ll share pics on Friday!).
But I wasn’t expecting to encounter so much guilt, or the growth and transformation that this guilt would provide.
Being a mom, I’ve discovered, is both amazing and challenging at the same time.
More and more, I’m believing that moms are superheroes!
Superheros with the power to so deeply care for others and themselves at the same time… that is, if we choose to.
I’m pumped to integrate GRIT into my life and to start building up my own mom's superpower!
Tomorrow, I’ll share the 6 Foundations of GRIT that really make it such a transformational program, as well as the one that I’m battling with every day as a postpartum mom!
If you can relate to my struggle and want to create this transformation for yourself, then stay tuned, reach out, and join Breanne and I next month in GRIT. Two professional colleagues joined this month and are loving it, and one more just signed up for February!
The next challenge starts Monday, February 3rd.
Deadline to join is Friday, January 31st.
Chat more tomorrow,
Kristina
#PassionatelyServing
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