“What this photo doesn’t show…”
Shared by Breanne Smedley
Growing up, like many girls, I lived with comments about my body from a very young age.
I was tall. I was really skinny.
You could say I stood out.
And people weren’t afraid to tell me about it.
Well-intentioned people, for sure.
People that always backed up their comments with
“I wish I was…like you.”
Or
“I wish I had…like you.”
Or
“You’ll be happy with that metabolism when you’re older.”
But comments about my skinny, long legs.
Gangly arms.
And guesses about my body fat percentage.
Even though most were making comments out of admiration.
The comments still drew attention to parts of my body that I never thought might be abnormal as a 5th grader.
They made me question…was I different than other people?
Made me stare at myself in the mirror and wonder what I could wear to make my legs look bigger.
Made me set a goal to eat 4,000 calories a day for a short time in middle school.
Hoping that the Marie Calendar’s frozen chicken pot pies and milkshakes would do just what others hoped they wouldn’t.
Go straight to my thighs and butt.
I never felt confident in my own skin growing up, until I started playing sports.
Until I started seeing my body for what it was capable of, rather than just what it looked like from the outside.
But, even years later, I look at these two photos taken 60 days apart, that self-conscious part of me starts to creep up again.
I hate taking photos like these. It reminds me of the hours I’d spend in front of the mirror examining the body staring back at me.
They make me feel self-conscious and vulnerable.
But, I’m glad I took them.
Because I see two different people in these photos.
October 2019 to December 2019.
From the outside, I don’t look much different.
In fact, to my eyes, I look a little “bigger” and if I didn’t know, I wouldn’t be able to tell which is the October photo and which is the December photo. (The one on the left is posted 60 days of GRIT).
But I know the transformation is greater than skin deep.
The photo shows a body that is currently on an 80+ day workout streak.
One that has been through injuries, climbed mountains, traveled the world, endured multiple sports seasons, child-bearing, birth, and raising.
One that has been judged.
But one that I’m proud of for what it has allowed me to do.
And one that is just a shell of the transformation on the inside.
It’s my MIND that has been transformed even more than my body.
I have been able to see new and sneaky ways my Inner Critic likes to sabotage my efforts and give me excuses to stay safe.
Then, I get to transform those stories through the physical work.
Allowing me to break through barriers I’ve had in the past.
And giving me the confidence to do hard things.
It’s pushed me.
It’s put me up against hard tasks.
It’s made me battle my excuses.
It’s made me find a way.
It’s given me mental and physical strength.
It’s given me confidence.
It’s inspired my husband and family.
It’s held me accountable to my word.
It’s given me a community and a team to lean on.
That’s what this photo doesn’t show.
The transformation that can’t be captured in a mirror.
I’ll be sharing that story, and the even bigger transformation I had that I cannot show you on Facebook, over the next few days via email.
I know many of you are already on our Mindfluent® Leadership email list. If you’re not and you want to hear the story and learn more about the GRIT program that inspired it, comment with your email below and I’ll add you.
===
#InspirationallyImpactful
#MindfullyEvolving
Comments
Post a Comment