“Triggered…”
Shared by Breanne Smedley
I used to think that stressful days were a result of everything going on around me.
That if only that student wouldn’t have been disrespectful in class, I would have had a good day.
If only the dishes were done, I could come home and not feel stressed.
If only my to-do list was shorter, I wouldn’t feel the pull between spending time with my family and knocking a few things off the list.
If only that person wouldn’t have said that thing to me that keeps ruminating in my mind, I could actually focus.
“You’re making me be in a bad mood!” I’ve said on too many occasions to my husband when I think he needs to perk up a little.
Last night, I was in a funk that I had a hard time pulling myself out of.
“There is just too much to do, and not enough time to do it.” Is what I told myself before rattling off everything that seemed to be piling on.
When I’m in these moods, it’s easy for me to believe that it’s my environment that is causing me to feel stressed.
Events.
Things to do.
The way people are acting.
I’m reading a book right now called, “You are what you say.”
Yesterday, I read a chapter that flipped this idea on its head.
What we experience, feel, and perceive on a daily basis is a reflection of what is already inside of us, and only triggered by our environment.
Like a mirror, my stress, mood, judgment, reactions, and perception of events and other people are just reflecting my own structure and learned responses.
My environment triggers, or releases my behaviors or reactions, but does not determine them.
An external event in my environment is like a car key. It doesn’t determine what the car does, it only activates its structure.
My reactions, although patterned and learned from years and years of experiences, are a result of my structure that has been developed from my past. Then triggered by my environment.
Not the other way around.
It’s the same reason why some people can look at a spider and not be phased.
While others run around screaming, trying to find the nearest item to be turned into a weapon to end it’s eight-legged existence (no judgment here…)
It all has to do with the structure that is already within us. Developed from our past experiences.
It’s not her fault.
It’s not his fault.
It’s not the length of my to-do list.
It’s me.
And my past lived experience projecting through me.
And it’s up to me to work to change my own structure.
Becoming aware of my reactions to events in my life.
Staying curious about where they come from.
Checking the stories I let in and tell myself.
And continuing to rewire what I previously thought was unchangeable.
The great thing about our brain, where all of these lives?
It’s absolutely changeable.
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#MindfullyEvolving
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