“Hero. Hardship. Highlight…”
Shared by Breanne Smedley
This past week, I, along with my volleyball team, coaches, and parents celebrated the 2019 season together.
We reflected on our accomplishments, thanked each other for the dedication and sacrifice we each gave to this season and laughed reminiscing about fun times together.
And something I kept coming back to that made this team so special this season.
Our connection, unity, and cohesion.
Spurred by something new we introduced this season called the “Safe Seat.”
I’ll talk more about that in a second.
First, let me tell you about my team leading up to this season.
They are really good. The team is full of talented players who devote a lot of time to the sport. Most play club and beach after the high school season is over.
Last year we reached the state semi-finals and narrowly lost to the eventual state champions.
This year, the girls came back looking even better than they did last year.
But, as always, there’s a story there.
While they looked physically better than last year (reloading every position with more talent and depth), there’s an aspect of our team that was left wounded and neglected after last season.
Our connection.
My team had all the physical talent you could ask for. But when push came to shove in the heat of the moment, when the game was on the line, they didn’t have each other to fall back on.
We turned away from, instead of to each other.
At the end of that season, I had to take a good, hard look at myself as the leader of this team.
We had practiced every skill that season, day in and day out. They knew how to compete hard.
But what about the skill of building relationships with each other? Building a connection that could withstand the test of adversity?
Yes, we had team dinners. Sleepovers. Bonding. Checked all the obvious boxes. They liked each other.
But I couldn’t confidently say that I intentionally made sure our team was actually building connections with one another.
As if I needed another reminder that relationships are the foundation to all accomplishment, I decided to commit this season to just that.
Building connection. Above all else.
If I’ve learned anything over the past year, it’s that connection is built through sharing stories.
Enter: The Safe Seat.
Every Friday on my team of 12 players, we rotate who is in “The Safe Seat.”
The prompts are simple, but have the potential to reveal a lot about one another:
Hero. Hardship. Highlight.
Speak to those three and open for questions after.
We piloted it the first week of the season.
One of my leadership principles is that “leaders go first.”
If I want my players to be vulnerable, share, and do the hard things, I need to do them first.
I set the tone.
So, as nervous as I was (and as many times as I tried to talk myself out of it), I did it.
I spoke about my mom as someone I admire for her resiliency and ability to recover in the face of adversity.
I shared one of my greatest hardships, a particularly devastating night in the middle of my parent’s divorce while I was in high school.
I told them about how one of the greatest moments in my life was when I was offered a full-ride volleyball scholarship after being a walk-on for three years.
I shared about the birth of my daughter and the overwhelming emotions I had when she entered the world.
I cried. Which was unexpected, and something I try so hard not to do in front of others in the past (Inner Coach-1, Inner Critic-0).
Some of my players cried too and told me after about how their family is going through the exact situation that my parents went through.
They asked thoughtful questions, supported me, and expressed how excited they were to do this each week.
As a coach, I never really know exactly how far a team will go in any given season, or how many games we’ll win.
But what I do know is that my players will risk, share, and practice courage and vulnerability in the pursuit of connection with one another.
And in my book, that’s winning.
===
#InspirationallyImpactful
#IntegrallyRelational
Comments
Post a Comment