“Follow the Fear…”

 

Shared by Breanne Smedley

In the fall of 2007, I was a freshman in college.

I was embarking on a new journey at Western Washington University as a student.

Not a volleyball player. “Just” a student.

Earlier in the year, I had decided to stop playing the sport I loved.

Turned down a few offers that I had to play elsewhere and decided I wanted to go to Western. Maybe play some intramurals.

Turns out, that first season not playing volleyball revealed something about me.

I missed it. I went to every WWU volleyball game on campus. I wanted so badly to be out there. A part of my identity at the time was missing.

I went back and forth for weeks about what I should do.

Part of me just telling myself to let it go. That ship has sailed.

Another part of me that couldn’t let go of the “what if?”

And a big part holding me back from taking any action.

Fear.

“What if I get turned down?”
“What if I put myself out there and I’m not good enough.”

All valid points. They were very real possibilities.

However, in an act of boldness, I decided to email the coach after Fall quarter.
Told her my story. Asked if there was any opportunity on her roster.

To my surprise, she emailed back.

And invited me for a tryout.

Just me, and the team.

If I wasn’t afraid before, I was now feeling it one hundredfold.

“I have to do this.” I kept telling myself.
Long story short(ish), I followed that fear all the way to Carver Gymnasium’s Gym C and tried out with the team.

A few days later, Diane called me into her office.

She offered me a walk-on spot on the team.

I was ecstatic.
I couldn’t believe it.
I accepted the spot and didn’t look back.

I’ve wondered, from time to time, what my life would look like if I hadn’t decided to listen to that feeling that pushed me to step out and email that volleyball coach my freshman year.

I know that I wouldn’t have played for and learned from one of the best coaches in the nation.

I know that I wouldn’t have some of my best and closest friends today.

I’m sure my career would look a little different.

But one of the biggest lessons that I’ve taken from that experience is learning to follow my fear.

Because fear offers us a gift.

It is communicating something to us in the only way that it knows how: the ability to make us feel.

Ignoring fear is like unmined gold.

Our fears don’t need to be “crushed” “ignored” or “demolished.”

They need to be listened to for the gift that they offer.

Because action is the antidote to fear.

Have the difficult conversation, even if you’re afraid of how he/she will react.

Speak up, even if your voice shakes.

Put yourself out there, even if it means you could get turned down.

Take a chance, even if it means people’s perceptions about you may change.

Do the thing, even if you might be criticized, embarrassed, or upset the norm.

The fastest way out of our fear is through it.

Follow the fear.

Listen to what it’s telling you.

Take action.

That’s how you conquer it.

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#FiercelyOptimistic

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