“Honoring Our Parents”
Shared by Kristina Smedley
“Honoring Our Parents”
Sennad and I attended a workshop a couple weekends ago called “Bringing Baby Home,” but it wasn’t your typical pregnancy/labor/newborn class!
Like a lot of things, I didn’t do a ton of research before signing up… I just saw some key points, thought it sounded good, and clicked the button!
I don’t need to know all the details.
Don’t get buried in analysis paralysis.
Don’t waste a ton of time weighing all the options.
I just get a sense and go for it.
And typically this pays off.
Thankfully, this was one of those times!
The workshop was developed by the Gottman Institute, based here in Seattle.
You’ve probably heard of them… they’re famous for their “Love Lab” and being able to predict divorce with a 95% (or something like that) success rate with just a short period of interaction.
As Sennad and I walked in the classroom door, I was a little nervous.
See, the workshop was all about maintaining your relationship with a new little one being added to the family.
I’d say we’re pretty good about talking about many relationship topics and absolutely NOT good with others.
And this two-day workshop was sure to hit on some of those “NOT good at talking about” convos!
And sure enough, it did… but those are stories for another day!
One of my favorite discussion topics was around honoring our parents.
Knowing that they did the best they could with what they had access to, were capable of, and based on how they were raised.
And at the same time, every generation sets out to do better in how they raise their kids.
I shared in our newsletter a couple weeks ago about one aspect of my childhood that I would like to change for our son. So, you can read that there.
But what I loved about the “honoring our parents” discussion was getting to relish in some of the amazing aspects of my parents, that I definitely want to carry over into my parenting.
One of the best qualities in how my parents raised us is that they never told us how things had to be.
They didn’t dictate how things had to be done,
what we needed to believe,
why we had to think a certain way.
They didn’t force their views and opinions on us.
Of course, we witnessed much of this, picked up on it, and it shaped who we are.
But it was never a rigid, forceful, dominating conversation that left no room for our own voices.
So, I grew up with a strong sense of being able to find my own direction.
Make my own choices.
Try things, succeed, fail, learn, and try something new.
And I never, ever had to worry that I was letting them down or that they wouldn’t be proud of me.
I knew they would always be there to cheer me on, help when needed, and support my endeavors.
Now, I see them being this same was as grandparents,
which makes me trust and value them even more.
If we can parent in such a way that allows our son to feel confident, brave, supported, and his voice valued then I’ll be so proud of us for following the great example set by my parents!
(and… I this doesn’t just apply to parenting, it’s the type of partner, friend, and leader I strive to be as well!)
Thanks for being such great role models, Mom and Dad!!
#IntegrallyRelational
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