“Expectations…”
Shared by Kristina Smedley
“Expectations…”
I’ve been digging into the idea of “expectations” lately, both for myself and with many of my female coaching clients. And I’m finding a very common undercurrent – perfectionism.
It reminds me of a short story I read recently…
Mulla Nasrudin was talking with a friend about his love life. “I thought I had found the perfect woman,” Mulla said. “She was beautiful and had the most pleasing features and smile. She was exceptional in every way, except she had no knowledge.”
“So I traveled farther and met a woman who was both beautiful and intelligent. But, alas, we couldn’t communicate.”
“After further travels, I met a lady who had everything: perfect mind, perfect intelligence, and great beauty, all the features I was looking for, but…”
“What happened?” asked the friend. “Why didn’t you marry her at once?”
“Ah well,” said Mulla, “as luck would have it, she was looking for the perfect man.”
The idea of perfection is a trick we play on ourselves.
We expect ourselves and others to be perfect – perfect body, perfect knowledge, perfect home, perfect kids, a perfect partner. And on it goes… unrealistic expectations, unfulfilled expectations, frustration, disconnection… the spiral continues downward as those around us search for their perfect as well.
But really, what is perfect?
Perfect is now.
Perfect is whatever we are and whatever we are experiencing right now.
Whatever that is, is perfect for each of us.
Because now is the only time we will ever have, anything else is not guaranteed.
Wasting our only moments, our limited and precious time, searching for perfect, dissatisfied with all that we are fortunate to be and have is a sure fire way to live a miserable life.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying we should settle and stop seeking growth and development, or that I’m minimizing the struggles and challenges we are all facing.
But there’s a stark difference in living a life where we judge ourselves and those around us as imperfect, always looking for what’s wrong and how it should be; versus, living a life where we accept who we are, others, and the situations we encounter.
From this place of acceptance, we are able to take responsibility.
From here we are able to make choices and decisions that lead to our growth and development.
Writing this down is a million times easier than deeply believing this and always acting from this belief.
But I’m working on it and my coaching clients are working on it.
And that’s all we can really expect of ourselves right now… to open up our awareness, give ourselves some grace, and allow ourselves to see that perfect is who and where we are right now.
#FiercelyOptimistic
#MindfullyEvolving
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