“Curious…”
Shared by Breanne Smedley
Behind our house is a walking trail that makes a loop around an area of wetlands.
It’s a little over a quarter-mile long, lined with bark chips, and passes two playgrounds.
It’s the perfect trail to run, walk, and bike right outside our back door.
Brett and I take Charlee on the trail often. However, we’ve never finished the entire loop with her now that she’s walking.
Yesterday, I tried again. Before we even hit the bark chips, Charlee is hunched over collecting rocks from the path leading to the trail.
When I finally coax her enough to abandon the rocks, she decides to walk on the outside of the path instead of on it.
Climbing over little stumps and saying “Hiii!” to every root in her path as she attempts to maneuver around it.
Back on the trail, Charlee realizes that the bark chips she’s walking on are interesting. She plops down in the middle of the path and picks them up, one at a time, to examine.
Then, grabbing handfuls to toss in the air. And, of course, not resisting the urge to taste one.
As I continue my attempt to get her back on the path to finish the loop, Charlee runs into the tall grass near the wetlands.
It’s about as tall as she is, and she falls down, laughing.
I pick her out of the grass and she stops, mesmerized on what is on her hand.
A tiny green bug, crawling from finger to finger. She keeps her eyes on the bug for 30 seconds before a bird catches her attention.
“Birrrr..!!” “Twee, Twee!” She yells.
It continues like this for forty-five minutes. We never lost sight of the house. Didn’t make it more than 50 yards from the start of the trail.
If I wanted to, I could have easily just picked her up and walked her around the loop.
I didn’t, though, because I love what I’m seeing in Charlee.
Curiosity.
We accept this curiosity as necessary in children. It’s how they learn, express themselves, and make connections in the world. It encourages risk-taking and bravery.
But, what about as adults?
It’s something I’ve been exploring, as it pertains to our emotions and experiences.
Curiosity, if we think about it, is an act of vulnerability and courage.
It requires us to surrender to uncertainty. It can lead to hurt.
The walking trail is safe. “But what about this grass that’s as tall as I am? What’s hidden in there?”
It requires bravery. There could be anything in there!
When it comes to our emotions, curiosity plays the same role.
It’s not easy to examine why we’re feeling what we’re feeling.
It’s a lot easier to ignore hurt and pain, no matter how small or big.
Pass it off, blame others, or just bury it.
Curiosity requires us to be brave. To want to know more.
But we have to wrestle with that discomfort about what we might find.
What if I realize that I’m more hurt than I thought? What if this points to something bigger? What if I realize I’m in the wrong?
Being curious can be messy.
Just like Charlee’s walks we will get tripped up, fall down, and have a bad taste in our mouths.
The alternative?
Walking the straight and narrow. Ignore what’s around us. Miss the connections, and experiences.
I wouldn’t want that for Charlee. And I don’t want that for myself.
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#MindfullyEvolving
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