“The victim…”

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Shared by Breanne Smedley

I woke up this morning feeling overwhelmed.

The house needs to be cleaned before people come over for Easter brunch.

I still need to get groceries for this week.

Plan for the upcoming week at school.

Volleyball is ramping up.

Feeling behind my routine and goals for Mindfluent Leadership.

….and I just heard Charlee wake up. 
So, no time for any of it.

It happens.
There’s always a lot to get done, and it seems like less and less time to do it.

Then, my mind went to an ugly place for a moment.

I started having thoughts of…

Brett and I both work full time. 
We are both head coaches. 
Yet, I’m the one doing most of the childcare. 
If needed, I’m the one that takes Charlee to my meetings. 
To my practices, never to his. 
I plan and cook all the meals and make sure we have groceries for the week. 
The budget, the bills.
While also trying to build a business.

I was able to realize, in that moment, that I was doing the exact thing that I despise when I see it in others.

Playing the victim.

Poor me! I have so much to do, and no one to help me!

Not only is this completely untrue, but it also does nothing to help my situation.

It only keeps me in it, feeling sorry for myself and trying to justify my feelings.

In those moments, I forget.

I forget that Brett makes our family and does the dishes every morning. 
Makes and packs our lunches every day. 
Has taken Charlee on dates or played with her upstairs so that I could have some uninterrupted time to work or meet with Kristina for hours.

I also forget that I’m not in this alone. 
That Brett, along with my family and friends around me, are willing and able to help.

If only I reach out and ask.

But sometimes it feels better to not.

Why does sitting and thinking of the ways I could feel sorry for myself feel better?

It requires no action. 
It allows me to believe the excuses. 
Let me off the hook.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. 
It’s okay to ask for help. 
It’s okay to take things off the plate.

It’s not okay to play the victim.

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#DaringlyResilient

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