“Confident Women…”
Shared by Kristina Smedley
“Confident Women…”
“I can’t do it.”
“That’s just not me.”
“What will they think?”
“What if I fail!”
And every other self-diminishing comment that women make to ourselves and about ourselves, really strike a nerve! And make my heart pound harder.
Probably because I’ve caught myself thinking similar things before.
And these comments serve no purpose except to hold us back.
To ruin our confidence.
To stop us from reaching our potential.
To stop us from going for our dreams.
When reading and researching personal development, especially in regards to women, I keep running into some version of the phrase, “If you can’t see it, how can you be it?”
I think there’s some truth to this statement.
We can’t know what we don’t know.
Especially as children, where our access to role models outside our direct family and social circle is less than the access gained as we have grown up.
Thankfully, I grew up with a mom who displayed many sources of strength.
From my vantage point, she could do just about anything!
->She integrated being a working woman and a mom.
->She had fun playing with us kids and hiking, camping, and fishing as a family.
->She remodeled the house with my dad – not as an assistant but a partner.
->She managed finances.
->She sewed clothes, quilts, curtains, and anything else you can imagine.
->SHE WAS EVEN A FOREST FIREFIGHTER!
And that’s actually one of my favorite stories about my mom…
When she was in her 20’s, she worked on a fire crew for the Forest Service.
I’m willing to bet that she was one of the few women dressed in fire protectant clothes and big heavy boots that were covered in dirt and soot, exhausted from hauling hose and digging trenches all day, and living in the bunkhouse all summer.
One day, the crew was deep in the forest preparing for a slash burn.
They had to make their way down a very steep hill, with all the supplies, hoses, etc, in order to get in position.
My mom, being the confident and determined woman she is, grabbed 50+ pounds of hose, threw it over her shoulders, and started down the hill.
About halfway down, she heard someone yell, “watch out!”
Just before feeling a massive force hit her and send her rolling, hose and all, down the hill!
Turns out, my dad, who she barely knew at the time, was above her on the hill.
Making his way down…
I’m not going to say ‘totally hands-free,” because I’m sure he was carrying something helpful.
But nothing in comparison to the load my mom took on.
When he stepped just right to dislodge a huge boulder, which went tumbling down the hill.
SMACK into my mom!
Now, my dad recently shared an update to this story that he actually caught a couple of the boulders before they flew down the hill too! So, we’ll give him a little credit for that.
But the best part of the story is what a badass my mom is!
Now, bruised and with an injured shoulder, my memory of this story then includes that she shot my dad a quick glare and continued on down the hill. But, I can’t recall exactly, so if we want the facts we’ll have to have her weight in. Personally, I like my version. 
As far as my mom and dad go, I guess we can say “and the rest was history.”
As you can see, I grew up with an awesome example of a mom and woman who, from my perspective, could do anything. And I learned and have always “known” that I can do anything too!
But I have to admit, that doesn’t mean that I don’t also have these self-diminishing and deflating thoughts run through my head.
They’re caused by my Inner Critic.
Which we all created for ourselves as children and who have now lived with us our entire lives.
Some are much more damaging and debilitating than others, especially when we don’t have a strong example from our mothers, caretakers, and other role models.
Without some intentional work, our Inner Critics control much of our lives without our awareness.
They trap us.
And hold us back.
Preventing us from being Impactful Leaders and living our best lives.
Having a proven process for releasing the burden of my Inner Critic and transforming it into an Inner Coach is what I’ve been missing in my personal development journey. A piece I’m so thankful to have now found!
#IntegrallyRelational
#MindfullyEvolving
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