“Keep your eyes on the bar…”

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 Shared by Breanne Smedley

Pull-ups, thrusters, burpees.

Not too long ago, I was struggling through a particular workout of these movements.

Don’t get me wrong, I struggle every day in workouts. In fact, it’s the goal to get to a point where it’s hard. To push myself to a point where I feel like I can’t go anymore.

But this workout was different.

It was one of those ones rare ones that stick out in my mind as a workout that I almost quit.

Like, stopped altogether. Left the gym.

It doesn’t really work like that in CrossFit. You finish the workout, and everyone waits and cheers you on until you’re done.

On this day, though, it crossed my mind to do the unthinkable. Quit a workout.

I can’t remember the exact rep scheme. All I remember was that it was a lot of reps.

I also remember getting to a point where I could only string together three thrusters before dropping the bar.

My heart, lungs, and legs burning as I thought about how much work was still ahead of me.

Then, to the pull-up bar. Only a couple of pull-ups in before my forearms give up, I lose my grip and come down.

Meanwhile, other people in the gym are finishing the workout. I’m not even halfway done.

At one point, tears welled up.

My inner voice scolded me. “Seriously, Breanne. You’re going to cry in a workout?!”

Back onto the thrusters and I complete one rep, drop the bar.

I’m mad at myself. I’m embarrassed that I’m the only one working. I want to call it.

As the bar lay on the ground, I’m doing anything to try and delay picking it back up. Walking around in small circles. Hunch over. Squat down.

One of the coaches comes over to me.

“Keep your eyes on the bar. You can rest, just keep looking at the bar while you do.”

I try it.

I stare at the barbell that’s trying to kill me.

It stares back, waiting for me to take action. “I’m not going to pick myself up!” I imagine it saying.

I pick it up, do as many as I can. Drop it again.

This time though, my eyes stay fixed on the bar.

I become more aware of the seconds ticking away while it lays there, lifeless.

I’m not distracted by anything around me. I can’t turn seconds into minutes by walking around.

I feel a sense of urgency to get back to work.

So, I do.

Eventually, I finished the workout.

I also came out with a new way to face hard things.

Keep my eyes on them. Don’t look away. Face the pain.

I can choose to look away, be distracted.

Give into the uncomfortableness and just stand around while whatever thing in my life waits for me to take action.

That’s not how I want to finish a workout, or how I want to navigate life.

Keep your eyes on the bar. Finish the work you set out to do.

#DaringlyResilient

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