“Good Vibes Only…”
Shared by Breanne Smedley
This week at River is “Love Week.”
It’s the week where our ASB encourages the school to intentionally practice kindness with each other.
Things like giving compliments, writing encouraging notes, holding doors. Plus pink decorations everywhere.
Yesterday’s focus was: “Think Positive.” The task was to refrain from any negative thoughts the whole day.
You know, “Good vibes only.”
Personally, I hate that phrase.
I understand the importance of positive thinking. I also know the reality that things in life aren’t always great.
To me, it’s like thinking: “I lost my job, I’m struggling in my relationship, and my dog just died…but GOOD VIBES ONLY, PEOPLE!”
No, sometimes there are bad vibes.
I think ignoring this simple fact of human existence is causing us to believe that negative experiences are not okay.
When we believe that the negative experiences we are destined to feel throughout our lives are not okay, then our situations become worse.
We start to feel bad about feeling bad. We get anxious about being anxious. We are angry because we are feeling angry.
Then we look on social media and see everyone else and their Good Vibes and think, “What’s wrong with me?”
It’s called the Feedback Loop from Hell, as described by Mark Manson in his book, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.”
He says, “The Feedback Loop from Hell has become a borderline epidemic, making many of us overly stressed, overly neurotic, and overly self-loathing.”
The reality: the negative, the suffering, the struggle is where the positive comes from.
That sounds backwards, but it’s true.
Manson explains, “Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience.”
We can’t avoid pain. Then when we try, it backfires.
“The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The denial of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame.” Manson describes.
When we learn that these negative experiences can actually be used to produce the positive results we want, we can look at them through a completely different lens.
We can shift our focus to embrace the negative, rather than avoid it.
Because we know that when we can look at life’s most terrifying and difficult challenges, and still take action, we become unstoppable.
So, I’d like to change the phrase. No more “Good Vibes Only.” Instead…
“Bad vibes sometimes.”
#DaringlyResilient
#FiercelyOptimistic
Comments
Post a Comment