“Freedom in Vulnerability…”

 Shared by Kristina Smedley

Vulnerability.
In many ways dreaded. 
Always balancing between what’s appropriate and when it’s too much.

When to share. What to share.

Is it even worth it? 
All the relationships and leadership books say it is.

I’ve been wrestling with the idea of vulnerability for years; always trying to improve but without a measurement of success or any feedback on how I’m doing. In reality, I think I was pretty much staying the same.

That is, until I started writing and sharing my stories.

I remember that day vividly.

September 10, 2018 – the day I committed to my friends that I would write my first story.

I anxiously watched the date get closer and closer.

I couldn’t back out; I made a commitment.
My hands were sweating and my heart racing.

The only appropriate thing to write about was feeling like an imposter in our new business, because I also felt like an imposter in writing and sharing my private stories.

In being vulnerable.

Vulnerability was for my closest friends and family (maybe); not for all my Facebook friends and everyone on the internet.

Perfection. Happiness. Having it all together. That’s more appropriate for that larger extended group.

Now, it's almost five months and about 70 stories later.
I now know what it feels like to be vulnerable.

It’s not something I read about. Or think about.
It’s who I am.

Through stories, I’ve shared personal struggles I’m working through. And you all cheer me on, relate with me, and share your struggles.

Providing feedback that vulnerability is ok.

I’ve had difficult conversations with family members.
Sennad and I have broached topics we typically avoid.
I’ve had more honest and open discussions, sharing my feelings, fears, and pain.

Proven progress from where I started.

For the first time in my life, I really feel that a lot of the self-imposed pressure to be perfect has lifted.

I feel light.
There is freedom.

This is an absolute unintended consequence of writing and sharing my stories. I thought stories were just going to be our way to write a leadership blog.

I’ve often said at work that to change a culture, we have to change the stories. Change what we are talking about.

Little did I know that this advice would change my life. I’m the author of my own character. To change my life experience, I simply need to change the story I write for myself.

#MindfullyEvolving

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