“One more push…”
Shared by Breanne Smedley
March 19, 2018, started like any other day. Well, sort of.
I was 9 months pregnant and due to give birth to Brett and I’s first child the next day, March 20th.
From about 37 weeks on, I’d wake up every day and wonder:
“Is today going to be the day?”
We were both so full of anticipation, excitement, and nervousness.
We had our hospital bag packed (with about a hundred things it turns out you don’t need).
The baby room set up.
All of her clothes washed, folded, and put away.
And a diaper changing station perfectly arranged to change it’s first little poopy baby bottom.
Normal first-time parent things.
I taught my first two classes that morning of the 19th. I felt great, even worked out with the kids.
Squat jumps, lunges, jumping jacks.
I remember one of my students even mentioning, “Mrs. Smedley, wouldn’t it be crazy if your water broke AT SCHOOL?!”
Turns out, that crazy thing happened. Kids just have a way of knowing things I guess…
After my second class, I found Brett and casually told him that I think it’s time.
The look on his face was priceless.
A combination of “Are you okay? Are you in pain? Is it happening right now?!” and “Hey, everybody!! I’m going to be a Dad!!”
Luckily, we learned in our birthing class that we had a little bit of time.
We left school to go home, grab our hospital bag, and headed to Legacy.
We were admitted around 9am, and the waiting game began…
Charlee seemed to be good and happy in there, despite showing signs that it was time for her to make her exit.
We spent the day walking around, bouncing around the exercise ball, and trying out different positions to try to get things moving along.
At one point, I wondered, “Maybe it’s not as bad as everyone makes it seem! What if I’ve been having contractions all along and am dilating, I just have a high pain tolerance!”
Wrong.
12 hours went by…and I was a whole ½ cm dilated.
This is going to take a while…
Finally, around 4am on March 20th, things started to get real.
“So THAT’s what they’re talking about when they say contractions hurt,” I realized, after having one of the ones that takes your breath away. Makes you stop in your tracks.
That’s also when I realized that the “plan” that Brett and I talked about following in our birthing class went straight out the window.
It was survival mode.
“Screw the breathing techniques. I hate the bouncy ball. Get away from my face!”
“Just put that hot pad on my lower back and push as hard as you can!”
“I’m pressing as hard as I can!” Brett would say.
“Really?! Because I need you to press harder!”
“And, put me on that epidural list. I’ll be needing one of those!”
And so it continued…
Until about 5pm when the nurse finally told me it was time. Time to push.
Side note: those nurses are AMAZING! Seriously, so good at what they do!
After 32 hours in the hospital, we were finally to the final stretch. Time to meet Charlee.
I remember the first push.
The doctor looked up at me and exclaimed,
“Wow! You’re a great pusher!”
“Why…thank you, I’ve been…practicing?” I didn’t know what to say…
“She will be out in no time.” The doctor assured me.
Well, 2 hours, 40 minutes, and a new doctor later, I was still working.
But, we were close to the end. The doctor assured me this time. Charlee would be out with the next contraction and push.
Brett and I looked at each other. This is it!
We looked at the monitor, anticipating the next contraction when I could push.
It started to build on the screen.
The doctor looked at me, “Are you ready? It’s time to push”
I got scared.
For a fleeting second, I didn’t want it to happen.
This next push would be the turning point. Nothing from here on out would ever be the same.
I was about to meet the little person that we had been anticipating for the last nine months. The person who was going to rely on me for life. To guide her, love her, help her.
I didn’t push. I let the contraction pass. I was scared.
“Ok, your next one is coming. One more push,” the doctor told me.
There was no turning back. This is what we wanted. It was going to be hard and challenging. Beautiful and amazing. All at once.
There was a little person in there waiting to meet her parents, and it was time.
I braced myself, held Brett’s hand, closed by eyes…
…and pushed.
“OPEN YOUR EYES!” I remember Brett telling me.
As soon as I did, there she was looking back at me.
Our beautiful, perfect (albeit a little alien-looking at the time) daughter.
That push was the turning point. The time when I decided full-heartedly, without an ounce of doubt, that I was ready.
Ready to be a mother and to spend every day for the rest of my life loving, protecting, and challenging this little one that would call me mom.
And nothing has been the same since.
#MindfullyEvolving
#DaringlyResilient
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