“Year End Review… “

 

Shared by Kristina Smedley

Let’s just say, it didn’t go how I envisioned.

You know those moments where you feel pretty confident in how something will go. You’ve done it before. You know what’s expected. You excelled in the past.

So, likely it’ll go great again. After all, I’ve been doing as well, if not better, than I did in the past.

And then…
It doesn’t.

That was me this afternoon.

Each year, we have a year-end review. It’s based on the goals we set in the beginning of the year.

There has been so much uncertainty as our new organization finds its footing this year, figures out our goals, and aligns to execute on them.

Because of this, it’s been a challenging but also pretty exciting year… brainstorming on how to self-organize, aligning to the little known priorities as best as we can, adjusting, being creative, and innovative.

And doing some really great work.

Building a new team. Creating new positions.
Being recognized at the Executive level for our contributions.
Getting great feedback from others.

And with all that… just a ‘Met Expectations’.

Met Expectations???

I was disappointed. Really disappointed.
I think I’m pretty humble and realistic.
From my perspective, I Exceeded Expectations.

I don’t think I’ve ever received an overall score of “Met.”
I know that Met isn’t bad… it means we do what’s expected of us.

I caught myself thinking, “Well, maybe next year I’ll do just what’s expected of me… and nothing more… if I’m just going to grade as a ‘Met’ for all the additional effort, ideas, energy that I put into my job, team, colleagues, and this company.”

For a second, I caught myself acting like a victim.
Like I didn’t need to take responsibility for this.

Then, I recalled a new favorite motto: If it is to be, it’s up to me.

And this is certainly true in this case.

If I could redo the last four months, I would have spent more time with my new manager ensuring we were on the same page on my goals and expected performance.

I would have make sure she was aware of everything I led the prior 8 months that she would later be grading me on.

I would have asked my past manager to provide explicit feedback and confirmation on performance earlier in the year.

There is a lot that I could have done. And I didn’t.

I may not like my rating, but I am definitely learning through this.

I’m learning how I will approach future changes in management.
I’m learning how I will mentor others when they are in similar situations.
And I’m learning how I will continue to be as a manager and how I will help lead new teammates who join my team.

I’ll never just do the basic ‘what’s expected of me’… I’ll always do more.
That’s who I am, and that makes me proud and fulfilled.

I’ll also not take the victim stance – I’m still bummed, but… If it is to be, it’s truly up to me.

 

#DaringlyResilient

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