“Just go talk to them…”

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 Shared by Kristina Smedley

One of my absolute favorite parts of my job as a manager is coaching and mentoring colleagues.

I love hearing their stories, listening to their struggles and seeing them start finding solutions, celebrating their accomplishments.

But this is also where I keep running into the same frustrating conversation, that has such a simple answer, but clearly not such an easy next step.

It usually starts with something like, “I’ve tried everything I can think of, but (whatever/whoever) is just not working out. It’s not getting better.”

It could be:

“I feel isolated.”
“I’m not getting the info I need on time.”
“He/she just keeps acting like they’re mad at me.”
“I want that job but I don’t know if I’m qualified.”
“My manager said they’re working on it, but I haven’t heard anything.”

And my response, “Have you talked to them yet?”

The answer is so very frequently NO.

No? Well, perfect! That’s the simple next step.

Just go talk to them.

Someone has the connections, the info, the answer, the job, the next steps that you’re looking for. You can’t read their mind and they can’t read yours.

So, just go talk to them.
Not an email. Not an instant message or a text. Talk.

Unfortunately, this next step is not always so easy.

For various reasons, employees – my colleagues – feel intimidated, they feel left out, they’re embarrassed, they don’t feel worthy, they don’t feel safe, or feel it would be career limiting to have that conversation.

And the list goes on.

This is frustrating… and also motivates me.

It’s frustrating because sometimes it’s the same person, who I suggest to over and over again: “just go talk to them”. And I haven’t figured out yet how to help them go do it.

It’s also frustrating that many workplace cultures are at a place where employees feel intimidated to go have these conversations.

It’s frustrating that as people and colleagues, we haven’t figured out how to create more empowering, caring, and connected workplaces where people can thrive.

Together.

And that’s also why it’s motivating. I know we can create supportive workplace cultures and I know that colleagues can be encouraged and coached until they experience success.

I know it’s possible. I’ve seen it happen. I’ve led some of these changes.

I also know that it’s up to all of us. You and I each have a choice every day of how we will show up – how we care for others, how we impact the environment we’re in, who we will talk to when we need help.

I hope you choose to care and to talk.

 

#DaringlyResilient

#IntegrallyRelational

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