“Poor me…”

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Shared by Kristina Smedley

I recently heard a colleague say, “I’m never going to get promoted.” Another told me, “We have all these programs and tools, but they never send me to classes on how to use them.” And the most painful one…

“You always get what you want, Kristina”

What I hear them saying is: “Poor me… I’m the victim”

There’s a difference between being a victim and having a victim mentality.

Unfortunately, terrible things do happen. Many of us will be victims at some point in our lives and we’ll work through a healing and recovery process.

However, I believe that a victim mentality far transcends the experience of being victimized. It includes a conviction that life is beyond one’s control and a philosophy that “life is against me.”

A victim mentality is a mindset, a choice to view life through a very narrow lens, a reason “why not”, and ways to attract sympathy from others.

It’s a way to avoid self-responsibility.

It’s based on scarcity, fear, and self-doubt.

The victim mentality diminishes our potential, for we can’t change our circumstances without first taking responsibility for them.

What’s the opposite of a victim mindset? A responsibility mindset.
Things don’t always go my way. Not at all.

But I am mindful of my self-talk and take responsibility for my circumstances, knowing that ultimately I have the ability to assign meaning to them.

I know that the stories I tell myself and the choices I make or don’t make will create my life. Same with you and your life.

So, join me in being present and paying attention. If you find yourself playing the victim often, viewing your life through a victim mindset, you can start changing that today.

Practice mindfulness.
Be compassionate to yourself.
Practice gratitude and appreciation.
Perform acts of kindness.
Ask for forgiveness (surprisingly hard to do) and forgive others.
Live in the present and embrace the challenges.
Build your self-confidence.
Stop blaming others. Take responsibility.

I’m not a pro at this, but I am conscious and aware. I want to live my best life. To be happy. To have dreams, growth, peace, self-esteem. To unlock the potential of others, and therefore myself.

If you want this too, you can choose to start today.

 

#DaringlyResilient

#InspirationallyImpactful

#MindfullyEvolving

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