“Day 21…”

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Shared by Breanne Smedley

It’s around this point in every Whole 30 I’ve done that I feel like stopping.

It’s day 21.

I’m past the “hump.”

The lure of the program has worn off.

I’ve achieved most of my desired results that I wanted headed into this “reset.”

Sleeping better.
Feeling less bloated.
Food choices are filled with much less indecision and negotiating.
Increased energy.

Most Whole 30s I do give up around this point.

I justify it though.

It’s not giving up, it’s moving on to a more “sustainable” way to eat.

So, it was no surprise that this weekend, I started to hear the voice.

The voice in the back of my head that belongs to my Lesser Self.

The part of me that likes to limit myself. Pull me back. Secretly sabotage my greatest efforts. Take it easy.

The one that, no matter how many days of Whole 30, GRIT, meditation, and commitment to my personal development…

Will take any sliver of hope I give it.

Given an inch, my Lesser Self will eventually take a mile.

“Just get a bag of dried mangoes from Costco today. You can save them for day 30.”

Note: dried fruit is allowed on Whole 30. But I challenged myself to not feed my dried mango addiction for 30 days, as it doesn’t help my other addiction to sugar.

Yeah, no harm in that, right? I thought.

And plus, if I do end up eating a few before day 30 (I’m sure it’ll only be a few…) they are technically Whole 30 approved.

“So, you can say you finished!” My Lesser Self was having a hay-day, knowing it was getting to me.

But I already know the pain of not finishing something that I started.

Of giving up.

So, while Whole 30 is only 30 days, but it’s also a commitment to myself.

To prove to myself that I can finish.

That I can hold a commitment to myself.

That I can persevere even when it’s tough and I want to stop.

And I can see now what my Lesser Self, my Inner Critic was doing.

It’s familiar with the narrative of starting, and stopping.

Of coming up with a justification to quit.

What happens, though, if I don’t stop?

What will happen if I finish?

For my Lesser Self, that fear is real.

Uncharted territory.

The fear of the unknown.

The fear of not being in control, and knowing how the story will play out before it ends.

“What else will she do?”

Well, Lesser Self.

We’re about to find out.

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