Tonight’s Feature: “I can totally be a snowboarder…”

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 Shared by Kristina Smedley

I mean, how hard can it be. Bundle up in some warm clothes, rent a couple pieces of equipment, no need for poles, and head for the snow!

At least that’s what I thought when I was in my 20s.

So, the girls and I grabbed our gear and headed up to Mt. Hood for our first day as snowboarders. We brought one buddy to show us the ways.

It was so beautiful.
Fresh snow.
Clear skies.
Not too many people yet.

The bunny hill was screaming our names. Time to ‘shred some pow.’

I hopped on the chairlift, which btw is sorta scary to be so high above the ground and not strapped in. So, there’s that.

But that doesn’t compare at all to the fear that overcame me as I tumbled off as we were unloading.

I can’t stand up. Am sliding all around. And people are coming.
I’m barely saved by the army crawl to safety.

Crap.

But, OK, I’m back in action and on two feet. Now I just had to figure out how to get to the break in the hill so I could really start carving.

And, I must admit… I made it down the hill a few times
I mean, there were some crazy spin-outs, I could really only go straight, and fast.

But, I’m totally on a roll. I mean, totally shredding. Well, I mean, I was flying down, straight down, the bunny hill.

Until it happened.

My friend Liz was about 50 feet in front of me and completely face planted.
She’s on her stomach, looking down the mountain (well, hill), with her legs and board up in the air.

And here I come.

Going straight down. And fast. It was the only way I could stay up.

“Ahahah hahahaha”

I can’t even scream or tell her to move because I’m laughing so hard… because it’s going to happen… I can’t stop it. I can’t turn.

My snowboard slams straight into her crotch.

Now I’m rolling on the ground and laughing.
And Liz is screaming.

“I’m so sorry!! So, so, so sorry!!”

It looked so easy. I was totally going to a snowboarder. Maybe just not that day.

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**No humans were seriously hurt in the making of this story. Thankfully the crotch incident is something we laugh at now. Note, Liz has never asked me to go snowboarding again.**

Stay tuned for future snowboarding adventures:

Featuring: the time I never made it all the way down the mountain and, while pissed at Sennad for taking me to what felt like a black diamond run, took off my board and stomped down.

Followed by: OK, I learned my lesson. You guys go, I’ll be in the bar all day, making friends and enjoying myself.

And closing with: Sounds like this snow issue might run in the family.

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