“Haters gonna hate…”

-


 Shared by Kristina Smedley

So, you want to do something new. Something big. Something outrageous and amazing.
Or, maybe you just want to do really well in your craft, to far exceed all expectations.

What’s getting in your way?

If you’re like me, immediately it’s the thoughts that pop into your head:

“Who am I to do that”
“Why would anyone listen to me”
“Am I even qualified to be doing this or running with these ideas?”

Or, worse yet, I get the fleeting thought of:
“I can do this, and be great, but I just won’t really let anyone know how great I am!”

Wait… WHAT? Am I going to hide in the closet? Be the most impactful closet person ever?!

I’ve been digging in lately to learn the source of a lot of these feelings.

I think a big part of it started when moving right before 7th grade from a tiny town and school into the city. Not quite the pinnacle of a girl’s life! I mean, for those who knew me back then… remember the bangs! LOL.

Then there’s the bad skin, weird clothes, bras!, being taller than all the boys. It was a strange and tough time.

I was pretty innocent. I hadn’t watched MTV before. I didn’t know the pop culture that other kids knew, the styles, the slang, etc.

School dances = my worst nightmare.

But, I was good at sports and really good at school.

My memories tell me that other kids didn’t like that. I can’t even recall who specifically.

They didn’t like it when I scored more points than them in a basketball game. They didn’t like it when I got 100% on our tests.

So, I learned to hide it. To not share when I did great. This was easy in the classroom. I just didn’t share, covered my papers, lied when people asked how I did on the test.

It wasn’t as easy in sports.

I mean, the only way to really hide it (looking back) is to stop doing things. Like, sub-consciously stop shooting in basketball, no matter what my coach, my parents, or others told me. Then, ultimately just stop playing.

Or, stop being proud of myself for doing well and be embarrassed for getting recognized for accomplishments.

Now, did others really dislike my success or was I just insecure and nervous. Wanting to fit in. Wanting them to feel good too. I really don’t know.

But, I do know that this has followed me all the way to today and it in no way serves me.

One time, early in my career, I received 5 or so recognitions in one All Team meeting.

“And the award goes to… Kristina!” So, I walk to the front to get my certificate.
A few seconds later. “Kristina.” Back up I go.
Then, “You might as well just stay up here, I see your name on a lot of these.”

I almost died. I was red, sweating, wanted to run.

More recently, I was called into a Sr. Manager’s office and told that I have my hands in too many things, am trying to influence too much, and I just need to stay in my area. People don’t like what I’m doing and they’re complaining about it.

I could go on and on with these examples. 
And they always really hurt.

But lately, I’ve come to truly realize that what Sennad Fallak always tells me is true… “Haters Gonna Hate.”

As long as I’m being true to myself, serving others’ best interests, and being open to dialogue then I can’t worry about what others are thinking and complaining about.

It’s not my responsibility to ensure they all feel comfortable at all times. That I’m not disrupting their status quo.

I’m not responsible for their insecurities that are being reflected back on me.

And honestly, most of the time they are probably too worried about what others are thinking of them to even have opinions about me.

It’s a waste of time to be consumed by this. To let other’s perceived thoughts hold me back.

It’s a killer of my own potential and light to hide in the closet.

I’m finally starting to not just realize this mentally, but to feel the freedom physically… And it’s an amazing place to approach.

Haters are always gonna hate. That’s just how it is. Time to accept it as is and leap forward.

 

#MindfullyEvolving

#DaringlyResilient

Check out what we're up to now!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

“Choosing Happiness…”

-
  Shared by Kristina Smedley “Choosing Happiness…” Early in my career, I had dreams of one day working in a prestigious high rise building, in the middle of a bustling city. Of wearing fancy clothes to work every day. Of having an authority position, making good money, and being seen as a success. I would go out to small local restaurants for lunch and attend networking events and professional happy hours after work. This was my idea of a fulfilling career… of one where I would be happy every day. Now, 14 years after graduating from college, I’m not leaving this career. Not at all! And I have to admit… I’m so thankful. So far, I’ve done some pretty cool things in my career… traveled to many different countries to meet with customers, mentored, and coached others, setup organizational operating models, and (the best part) had the opportunity to build cultures and environments where our teammates thrive!  I’ve learned over time that the fame and glory, the fancy office buildings...
Read more

"Just GET STARTED..."

-
Image
  Shared by Kristina Smedley When  Breanne Smedley  and I first stepped out on this Mindfluent® Leadership journey (2 years ago!), I was envisioning that we would create a philosophy, become certified coaches, and go out and find 1:1 coaching clients.   We would (hopefully) positively impact their lives and that impact would create positive ripples through their families, teams, and communities.   I wasn’t really sure how to do any of that, but it’s the model we had been exposed to. So, it’s the model we started building from.   Leadership Philosophy ✅ Professional Coaching Training ✅ Practice 1:1 Coaching ✅ Then came the part of getting 1:1 clients.   And we quickly realized that we didn’t want to spend hours upon hours going to networking events, reaching out to our network for coffee dates, asking for referrals, and more to secure one single client. Then, spending hours with just one client.   I’m not looking down on this model, ...
Read more

“Yelp reviews…”

-
Image
Shared by Breanne Smedley Whenever I’m in a new city, or even when Brett and I have a date night that requires one of us to decide on a restaurant, it’s a predictable story. “Where do you want to eat?” “I’m not sure, what kind of food do you feel like?” It goes back and forth for a bit, until one of us pulls out our phones and opens Yelp. Even in my own city, where I’m familiar with most restaurants around me, I still default to Yelp to help me make a decision. And the first thing I tend to look at? The reviews. And quickly, I decide that there’s nowhere to eat. It happened this Saturday. Scrolling through all the restaurants within a 10-mile radius from our house. I’d click on one that looks good, then go directly to the reviews. A handful of good. People love this place! Then a few bad. Then, one that says, “Terrible service and cold food!” “Ok, we can’t eat there!” I’d decide. Then, go to the next restaurant. Same thing, check the reviews. Oh, this person said the atmosphere is bad....
Read more