“What do you want…”
Shared by Breanne Smedley
On the semi-rare occasions that Brett and I haven’t planned dinner, or are too tired to follow through with what we scheduled, we look to each other and ask the question that almost always ends in an argument.
“What do you want?”
Or…
“Where do you want to go?”
It’s a simple question, right?
Usually, one of us answers,
“It doesn’t matter to me.”
Or…
“I have no preference.”
Or…
“I’m good with whatever you want.”
Which sounds helpful.
But really it isn’t helpful at all.
In fact, I get a little angry when I hear it.
It would actually help if you had a preference.
Because now the decision is all on me.
“How about Thai…?” One of us will throw out.
“No, I’m not feeling that.”
I thought you were ‘good with whatever’?!
It goes both ways.
Both of us listing off ideas and shooting them down, despite the fact that we just told each other some version of “I don’t care where we go.”
What gives?
Are we afraid to tell each other what we really want?
Are we trying to guess what the other person wants?
Do we truly not care and want someone to make the decision for us?
The other day in my Mindset Coach Certification program, I was tasked to write in response to the following journal prompt:
“What I really want is…”
At first, I blanked.
Except the rules were that I had to write without picking up my pen for the entire 5 minutes.
If I got stuck, I was to write the phrase, “What I mean is…” until something came to me.
I couldn’t default to the standby “I don’t care”, “Whatever you want”, or “I have no preference.”
More like, I didn’t want to.
Because deep down, I do know what I want.
My response revealed a few themes.
“Freedom to enjoy the work I do while maintaining quality relationships…”
“Flexibility to build a schedule around what’s most important…”
“Own a business in which I help women, coaches, and athletes unlock their potential and thrive…”
“Freedom from unproductive thoughts that hold me back…”
Sometimes we spend our lives defaulting to what others want and expect from us.
But what do you really want?
Spend some time with it.
Articulate it.
Go get it.
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#InspirationallyImpactful
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