“I’m overwhelmed – what should I do?!”
Shared by Kristina Smedley
“I’m overwhelmed – what should I do?!”
Have you had moments in life where you wish someone would just throw you a life raft?
To show up when needed and save you from the troubles you’re facing.
I had a conversation about this with one of my friends over the weekend.
She has a lot on her plate.
A full time demanding job.
Two young kids.
A marriage that needs attention and work, like all marriages.
No time for herself.
“I feel like I’m treading water, deep out in the ocean. Thrashing around with no end or help in sight,” she shared.
Scared.
Exhausted.
Sometimes just wanting to give up.
“If only a boat would drive by and throw me a life raft.”
She could stop treading water and get back to dry ground, where everything is more stable and safe.
Instead, she feels that others are providing instructions on synchronized swimming.
“Try moving your legs and arms at the same time…”
“Moving in unison will make everything better…”
“You just need to relax and settle in to everything…”
Instructions on how to swim and live a more elegant and beautiful life.
“Exactly what I don’t need or want! I just want a life raft! To float for even just a few minutes.”
As I was thinking about our conversation later, I thought of my professional coaching practice.
I’m currently working with four ladies, all of whom have very full lives.
All wanting better “work-life balance” in one form or another.
Expectations (self-imposed, societal, etc) for women are high – be the best mom, have a successful career, make dinner for the family, and make time for your best girl friends. Oh, and make sure to stay in shape, dress well, and be nice!
That can all be too much to begin with.
Then, throw on the inevitable challenges that pop up throughout life, and we can quickly feel we’re treading water in the deep/dark ocean.
As an Integral Coach, I’m working with the whole of the person.
I’m coaching for 3 outcomes:
-> Long term excellence
-> The ability to self-correct
-> The capability to self-generate
Absolutely none of this looks like “show up and throw them a life raft.”
In fact, it may sometimes feel more like synchronized swimming lessons
And, I understand, it’s really hard to take a deep breath and create even the smallest amount of space for this, for ourselves.
And that’s exactly the role of a coach:
To provide space and a safe container.
To notice what might be right below the surface and help bring it into awareness.
To truly see and hear our clients.
And to guide them on their exploration.
I’m definitely not showing up to save anyone.
But, I’m always showing up with a proven methodology that I know will serve you.
To enable you to see and learn, and build life-long awareness and skills that will enable you moving forward.
Although it sounds relieving, we can’t wait and expect anyone to show up and throw us a life raft.
Instead, we must operate from a source of responsibility.
And sometimes the most responsible action we can take is to ask for help.
If you feel like you’re treading water right now with no land in sight, consider how you can act from a place of responsibility and ask for help.
Maybe that means carving out the funds to hire a house cleaner.
Maybe it’s having a coffee date with a girl friend and asking her to listen.
Maybe it’s hiring a coach or other professional assistance.
But please, please don’t thrash around and wait for someone else to come and throw you a life raft. That solution is probably never coming and if it does we all already know it’s not actually the solution you need.
I’m really proud of my friend who, although wishing for a life raft, is also actively seeking help, not being too proud to do so, and trying out different possibilities.
Taking this first step can make all the difference.
#CourageouslyListening
#InspirationallyImpactful
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