“Unfriended…”

 Shared by Kristina Smedley

“Unfriended…”

“Yep, I was unfriended via text this week,” my close friend shared with me.

Unfriended? Like on Facebook, but in real life?
Apparently so.

She shared that she had been trying to meet up with a good friend.
A friend that she usually sees every month or so.
Who she enjoys long conversations and funny experiences with.

She had sent a few texts. No response.
She waited. Still no response.

So, jokingly she asked if her friend was ignoring her.

Then came the response.
“We didn’t really click last time we saw each other. And I’m really busy, so I don’t think we should hang out anymore.”

Ouch. That would sting.

That really is getting Unfriended.
Someone you’ve know for years. Have enjoyed a lot of time with.
Then suddenly, with no conversation you’re told that you’re no longer friends.

It’s really hard for me to imagine this.

The only experience I can relate it to is seeing a friend be laid off.
Their company no longer needed them.

With no emotional connection or responsibility, the notice was given.
There was no room for conversation. Or care to know her thoughts or ideas.
End date was set. And that was that.

This cold and uncaring business practice is tough for me to handle or agree with.

But can you imagine the coldness of just “Unfriending” someone?
How does another cut ties with someone they’ve been close to for many years.
To suddenly just change their mind. To not at least have a discussion?

I guess we may never know the answer to this.
So, the more important thing is supporting my close friend.
Listening to hear. Encouraging her. Being there for her.

In the beginning, she took it personally.
“What did I do wrong?”

But now, she’s seeing that this isn’t her fault.
She can’t control how another chooses to live her life.

All she can control is her own awareness, responses, and actions.
In this case, she may choose to grieve for the end of a friendship.
Then, choose to take that energy and invest it into herself and her closest friends.

Knowing that some of us will always be there for her.
Even if we argue or disagree.
We don’t click one time while hanging out.
Or, we lose touch for a period of time.

Some friendships are unbreakable.
And I’m fortunate to have this wonderful friend in my life and by my side.

 

#DaringlyResilient

#IntegrallyRelational

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