“Monkey see, monkey do…”
Shared by Breanne Smedley
Charlee is at an age where she is starting to copy what Brett and I do.
It’s pretty fun to experience.
We start clapping our hands together, and moments later Charlee is doing the same.
Including the same cheesy grin on her face that apparently happens when you clap and smile at your child.
We make blowing sounds with our mouths or start clicking our tongues. Charlee does them back.
Most mornings start out with a string of “Hiiiii”s back and forth with each other. Charlee mimicking the inflection that we use.
Monkey see, monkey do!
Then there’s the things that she does on her own.
Things that I find myself asking, “Where did she learn that?”
Like when she takes her to play remote, and puts it to her ear like she’s talking on a phone.
Or when she found one of my hair ties on the ground.
She picked it up.
I thought it was headed to her mouth like almost everything else she picks up off the ground and was prepared to take it away.
Instead, she took it between both tiny hands, stretched it a little, and put it on top of her head.
Right about where my ponytail sits daily.
Then, the other day she found my chapstick. I again thought, “Going in the mouth!”
Instead, she took one end of it, started dabbing her lips with the capped stick.
It’s never been more obvious to me than in that moment.
Charlee is being shaped daily by my actions.
These little things that she does imitate what she sees from Brett and I.
As much as I think she doesn’t see. As much as I tell myself, “She’s only 10 months old!”
Her actions tell me that she is in tune with much more than we think.
And I start to wonder.
Are all my actions worth imitating?
What is she learning about being present and engaged when I have my laptop and phone out as she’s trying to play with me?
When I respond to Brett in a rude tone, or was short with him over a meaningless mistake and don’t apologize, what am I teaching her about patience, kindness, and how to treat people?
What is she learning about self-image when she sees me stand in front of the mirror and adjust my hair for the 10th time, because I don’t like the way it looks?
Or when I tell Brett I feel fat after eating a big meal. What will she say about her body, when she is able to form the thoughts and words?
My habits, my thoughts about myself, and my words do not exist in a vacuum.
They are shaping the habits, thoughts, and words of my daughter.
And I know that if I want her to grow to be strong, confident, and brave, she needs a model.
That model is me.
She’s watching, and learning every day.
It’s time to be mindful of that fact, and make my actions worth imitating.
#IntegrallyRelational
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