“Surprise…”

 

Shared by Breanne Smedley

August 1st, 2017 Brett and I were about to leave on a two-week vacation up the Washington coast and into British Columbia.

Brett had left the house to grab some last-minute things, while I stayed back to finish packing.

For whatever reason, it crossed my mind to take a pregnancy test.

Brett and I were not trying to conceive at the time, but were also “not, not trying,” if you know what I mean.

We envisioned starting a family within that year, but in my mind, I was thinking it would happen around Spring 2019.

Another full year of fun to do all the traveling and date nights that we could before they were replaced with diapers and figuring out how to work a breast pump.

We even dubbed this time “the year of fun” before we started to get serious about trying to start a family.

Well, that pregnancy test told a different story.

I remember looking at it after the two-minute timer went off. There was a dark blue horizontal line, but then a really light, faint blue one running vertically as well.

It was so light, that I was sure it actually wasn’t positive. Just some runoff color from the other line, I assumed.

Must be a common assumption, because I consulted the instructions and they stated specifically, “even the faintest vertical line is an indication of pregnancy.”

It was a plus. Positive. Pregnant.

“No, no, no, no…!” I thought. This is was sooner than I had “planned.”

I called Brett and told him he needed to get home immediately. He could sense the urgency in my voice.

I showed him the test, and cried. “Pregnant!”

Brett had a different reaction. He couldn’t hide how excited he was. “Yes! This is awesome!” He said. He couldn’t stop smiling.

I knew it would be awesome, eventually. But at that time, I was scared.

I didn’t know how to be a parent.

Looking back, I can see how far Brett and I have come.

I see myself in that moment, now nearly 18 months removed.

And I think, “Wow, I didn’t even know what I didn’t know back then!”

But there wasn’t a defining moment in the past 18 months that Brett and I woke up and thought, “Finally! We’ve got the hang of this parenting thing!”

There wasn’t someone there to give me a badge and sign a certificate of “parenthood” after I had changed my 100th diaper, or demonstrated that I could figure out how to get my baby into one of those wraps.

Most days, I felt like we were just surviving.

But all those days where we felt like we were just living, adapting, and loving our baby has lead us to where we are today.

Brett and I are parents to a happy, healthy little girl. A girl that lights up with laughter when she sees us, loves to be read to by dad, and snuggled by mom.

We’ve grown tremendously as parents over the past 18 months.

And the beautiful part?

There’s going to be another day down the road. Maybe in a month, six months, or maybe a year.

On this day, I’m going to look back on this moment right now and again think,

“Wow, I didn’t even know what I didn’t know back then!”

Becoming parents has been a process that I’m incredibly proud of. I know this growth never stops though.

We just take it one day at a time and embrace the surprises along the way.

 

#MindfullyEvolving

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