“Your Strength is Equal to Your Vulnerability”
Shared by Kristina Smedley
I checked into the Kimpton Shorebreak Hotel in Huntington Beach this evening, remembering how beautiful it is in SoCal… every day. Always 70, always sunny.
I dropped my stuff off and decided I should work out before dinner. Since sweating before a glass of wine is usually the better order. 
I wasn’t too pumped for this workout, but drug myself down to the gym, walked around the corner and… aaahhhhh yes!
They have a Peloton bike!
I was just texting with Jackee about the Boss October rides that Ally Love is starting and couldn’t wait to take the first one! It was a great ride! But what stood out to me the most was her saying:
“Your Strength is Equal to Your Vulnerability”
Really? Is this true? Is our strength equal to our vulnerability?
I was hoping to come to the conclusion of NO.
You see, vulnerability is one of my weak spots.
Throughout my Master’s program, vulnerability was always the topic I needed to work on. It came up in self-reflection and in colleague surveys. I’m just not that good at being vulnerable.
Maybe I grew up thinking that not being vulnerable was equal to strength. I’m not sure.
But I can remember having these feelings from a very young age.
I remember when my grandma and favorite person passed away when I was in 4th grade.
I hid in a closet and cried because I didn’t want my family to see my sadness.
I have never liked going somewhere new and having to look for the person I’m meeting up with because I hate the idea of looking lost and confused.
Doing things I’m not good at or that requires being the center of attention is usually to be avoided (although I have really been working on this over the last few years… like writing these posts, being in our safety fashion show at work, or taking dance lessons for our wedding).
As I was thinking through these somewhat painful memories, I recalled all the research and work that Brene Brown has done around vulnerability, shame, and guilt.
Over years of research and thousands of personal interviews and stories, she found (in simple terms) that:
We are all wired for connection with others.
Disconnection is often due to shame and a belief that “I’m not good enough.”
And this is supported by a fear of vulnerability, the potential pain that could come with it, and a feeling of being unworthy.
In order to connect, therefore, we must be vulnerable. We must be willing to be truly seen by others.
I believe completely that relationships are the foundation of accomplishment.
In saying this, I have to also know that relationships are about connection. So…
If Relationships = Accomplishment
And Relationships = Connection = Vulnerability
And, it’s not much of a leap to agree that Accomplishments also = Strength
We can quickly agree that Strength = Vulnerability.
How’s that for putting my math minor to work!
Again, I’m finding here the vulnerability needs to continue to be a focus area in my life.
Ultimately, it can be a source of connection, relationships, accomplishments, and strength.
Brene Brown also found that when we numb vulnerability, we also numb our positive feelings.
We don’t just get to choose to numb the bad feelings and keep the good.
So, allowing vulnerability will also all more feelings of joy, excitement, and love.
And, to take it out of the mushiness and into the more corporate-speak… she found that vulnerability is the source for creativity and innovation. The top items on most corporate focus areas these days!
We essentially cannot go wrong with embracing an appropriate amount of vulnerability in our lives.
And that is so much easier said than done.
But, I’ll continue to practice. One day, hopefully, vulnerability will be a strength, rather than a fear.
What do you guys think? Do you agree that Strength = Vulnerability?
How are you doing at being vulnerable and allowing yourself to be truly seen?
Watch Brene Brown’s TED Talk to learn more. She also has some great books!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o
#IntegrallyRelational
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